What If, God? by Juli Wilson

 
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God's plans for you are good.

“Why are you doing this, Lord? Where are you leading me? What if it doesn’t work out? What if I’m not good enough?”

 

What if. What if. What if.

 

This has tune has been played on repeat in my heart in different seasons of my life. It’s not that I don’t trust God, it’s just that I put too much trust in myself sometimes. I try to figure everything out alone. I try to make things happen. I live life based on what I know, which is NOTHING in light of God. He knows it all. When we lay down and when we rise. The amount of hairs on our head. The plans that will give us a future and a hope, the ones that will prosper. I know this is all true. I know He is good.

 

Yet, here I am. Sitting on my bed, questioning what He is up to. Wondering if He really sees my pain. If he actually hears my cries. If He could ever truly care about someone like me. I ask Him for clarity. For a little glimpse of hope. Sometimes, He gives it in the form of a whisper, that still, small voice that reminds me everything will be okay. Other times, he uses scripture to SHOUT the words we need to hear. Words that are bold and powerful and so divinely written. But then, at times, he uses silence to pierce our hearts. To see if we’re willing to trust, even when the path we’re called down is foggy.

 

That’s where I’m at tonight. Sitting in that thick silence, trying to peek through the cloudy path. I can’t see where He is leading me. He hasn’t said a word. So, what do I do? I’m going to keep looking up and reaching out. He takes hold of my hand as my knees shake, as I wobble from step to unseen step. And when I’m too weak to walk, weighed down by life’s demands, I will posture my heart towards Him. He will carry me in the way I should go. This is love. This is the way I want to go.

 

The way of love. HIS way.

 

You don't have to have it all figured out. None of us do. All you have to do is fall at the feet of the One who knows what you need. God will never lead you astray, even if the path seems rough. He knows where He's leading you. Trust His heart—it is always good. So very good.

 

Father,

 

Thank you for who you are. For how you love us. We beg you to lead us, God. We are holding on tight in anticipation of what you have planned for us. We know it is going to be so much bigger and better than anything we could ever hope for or imagine. You are such a kind, gracious Father. Help us to keep our eyes on you. We love you, Lord. Amen.